My dad is columnist for the Monterey Herald and the nicest guy in the world. He’s come up with the perfect formula for a query letter:

Dear Editor:

This is, of course, a query, but just for the record, I’m really  a straighty!  I figure nothing like a little humor to get off on the right foot.

Actually, I’m writing because I really need the money. Oh sure, name in print and all that, but if you read my stuff you will see that other people will be happy to pay to read this stuff, and you can pay me!  I know you can tear off a little corner for your self, but there should be plenty to go around.

I can write long, short, happy, sad, funny, serious, anything you want.  I can even write filth — you know, porn — but no pictures, please.

I haven’t published anything yet, so you have the chance to discover me.  A real feather in your cap!  As I mentioned above, I REALLY need the money, so a modest advance would be just great.  I don’t want to be pushy, buy let me hear from you in 48 hours.

 

Sincerely,

 

John Steinbeck (just kidding)

 

Phil Bowhay (really)

 

For more information about how to write a real query letter, GO HERE.