Contra Costa Times-November 11, 2008
A NEW MEMOIR REVEALS THE REALITIES OF AUTISM
It was Matthew Shumaker’s strange obsession with wheels and drains that spurred the first nagging doubts. While other toddlers tumbled down the padded ramps at Gymboree, or giggled under a billowing parachute during the baby games, Matthew toddled away to examine the wheels on a small rolling cart.
Other children conversed. Matthew echoed what other people said. He didn’t make eye contact. And his attention could be completely derailed by the sight of water swirling down the sink.
And when a mall Santa asked what he wanted for Christmas, Matthew said, “A drain.”
Santa beamed, thinking the toddler had asked for a train.
“In our hearts,” says Lafayette author Laura Shumaker, “we knew it was autism.”
Autism has been splashed across headlines lately. If it’s not Jenny McCarthy on the cover of People magazine, talking about how she cured her son of a disorder that affects more than a half-million American children, it’s TV plots, or Michael Savage and Denis Leary mouthing off.
But Shumaker’s much-praised new memoir, “A Regular Guy: Growing Up With Autism – A Family’s Story of Love and Acceptance,” dials down the rhetoric to reveal the realities of life with an autistic child, from Matthew’s toddler days to manhood.
Comments(17)
I found you on facebook and I just want you to know that my 3.5 yr old son is autistic and reading the entry above was like reading my life story. CJ does these same things and in our hearts we always knew even before he was diagnosed. It has been a long road and will continue to be, but I thank god every day for this wonderful boy. Thank you for sharing your story.
I just came across your book on Facebook, don’t have time to read it now, will definitely be checking it out when I do. I have a 24 year old son with autism, he has been a challenging joy in our lives. From what I scanned you and I are on the same page, I can’t wait to check out your book.
I just came across part of your story. I too have a son who is 15 and has autism. Thank you for letting me into your heart and soul. I know the challenges and immense joys of having an autistic child. And even on the worst days I would not change a single thing. And suprisingly neither would my son. I can’t wait to read your book and revel in the fact that we are truly not alone. Thank you.
Great to know there is so much out there on Autism. My son will be 27 this month.When he was dignosed with Autism I had to read about it in a dictionary. It was not good. He is the joy of our family. I also have two grandson’s with autism. I think this is getting a little scary for my family.
My son is 4 found out he was autistic officially about one year ago. Took him to NACD because my friend who had three autistic children started her kids there where they help the child with re-stimulating the areas (magnified sensory) work properly and also the senses that diminished to process correctly in the brain. My son went from understanding language at below age 1 to each month going up a year in language,speaking and reading with the individual program set for him. Ps. My friends 3 kids are now not considered autistic but brilliant now thanks to them. Go to
http://nacd.org/index.php please check it out
(emily S. from Houston)
Autism is not a disease; it does not need a cure. Therapy and sensory stimulating sessions will help provide comfort/tools for these beautiful children that are simply more sensitive and communicate on a level that is very much available for you to learn if you only listen and watch. They teach you. They can show you. Show me a child that is not a “challenge”. The propaganda is loud, but if you simply look into your childs eyes, the answer is right there as it is in EVERY CHILD’s eyes: love me, support me, help me. Stay strong and trust your instincts. The person that knows the most about your child and what he/she needs is: YOU. Love and strength to all of you.
Autism is a neurological disorder, and it does need a cure. I’ve worked with children with Autism for about 12 years. Early diagnosis, and intervention are key to helping these wonderful kiddos to achieve their greatest potential. While there is a lot of loud propaganda out there, lets not add to it by saying Autism doesn’t need a cure! =)
omg i just read this my son is non vocal and the drain thing just hit me my son always has to have water on he is either in the kitchen or bathroom he puts his hands under the water and i never thought about the way the water goes down the drain amazing i wish i could read his thoughts he use to do some signs and pecs but due to seizures or the meds for the seizures he lost it all about 5 years ago he is now 9 and he is always in his own world he functions at about 1 yr 8 months
Thank you for sharing your story. I too have an autistic son who is now 23 years old and doing well. I realized very early that my son had autistic characteristics and he received early intervvention services including speech therapy and social skills. He now works in retail along with a job coach as needed.
I read the book and loved it. I was so impressed with Andy and his high level of empathetic perception from an early age.
The one thing that really irked me was when people applied the damn Rain Man slur to Matthew. He is NOTHING like that cliche prodigious savant! Savantism affects less than 10% of people with autism, so why is it a stereotype? R*** M** is JUST as offensive and is JUST as bad a slur in the autism community as any ethnic slur is to the group that’s being targeted. I am sick of that damn character being held up as the embodiment of autism. I wish R*** M** could be permanently retired and join his equally offensive stereotypes, Amos & Andy, Steppin Fetchit and the like. No Rain Men here!
My daughter was diagnosed 7 years ago when she was two. We ditched the expensive therapy as we saw little to no progress and quickly moved to intense bio-medical intervention. Within weeks, our little girl began to come back to us and within months, she made huge progress and after a year she had mastered all but one of her original therapy goals. We were able to make new goals, and after healing her immune and nervous system, she went from SpEd to mainstreamed. I owe her life to her Austin based docs. Glenn Leupnitz, Neuro-sensory center, and Thoughtful House. It is so important to heal the bogy and brain so therapy can be fully effective!
In another article, I was actually SAD that Matthew, then 18 still fell for Santa Claus.
On a tangential note, http://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/syltguides/fullview/1RJGEDY4C0TMZ/ref=cm_sylt_byauthor_title_full_7
I admit that I am no fan of Santa for the reasons above. I was actually sad that Matthew, a grown man of 18 (from another article entitled “The Birthday,” which has been abridged in the book) still fell for Santa.
Michelle, I know Thoughtful house well! Do you know about the HALO program, started by Soma and Tito, author of several books and himself severely autistic live in the area? Portia Iversson wrote about them as well as her own son Dov in “Strange Son” and they all were featured on 60 Minutes in recent years.
I have a son who is 15 years old.His preschool age began when he was three years old.he had awesome preschool teachers.they help him a lot and so did speech theropy all through grade school.My son is in high school now he has been mainstreamed since the third grade.I wouldn’t change anything about him.He is doing great in school and even in above his grade in some classes.He is in marching band this year.It has done wonders for him socializing with so many kids.The Marching band students treat him just like every other kid.We are very proud of him.He has a lot of goals for his life.He wants to a chef someday.He loves to cook.His band is going to be in the halftime show at the Holiday Bowl in San Diego.He is so excited.It has gotten easier as he is getting older.Once we went to Florida when he was little.He wanted us to take him back to the hotel everyday at the same time to watch his on show.It was hard breaking him of that to bring new things into his world.He is a happy teenager.We are a happy family living with this.We a re thankful he is a high functioning person.Everyone loves him that knows him and he is fun to be with everyday.Thanks you God for giving him to Us.
I am an ECSE teacher for children on the Spectrum for 20 yrs now. I LOVE my job!! I am always looking for information to share with my parents and web sites to help support them on this journey. Thanks you for your open and honest comments. I can become a better teacher by listening to your stories- you s the parents are the true experts- cure or no cure Early intervention is the Key- trust your instinct and keep communicting your needs as parents.
i have a child with autism, and i always try to get the best service for him. he’s 5 years old,i think he need more help for his speech and at his school i think his not recieve enough help….but i never loose my hopes, i always think he’s gonna be a normal child someday……
I have been reading your post on 5MFSN for quite some time.
Love the friendship story..cannot wait to order your book and share it with my parent support group.
It is so thrilling to hear about kids with autism being properly supported by the public schools. My 16 yo has high functioning autism (or aspbergers depending on who you talk to). He was driven out of public school by bullying & harassment on the playground. His lunch was smashed, thrown on the roof, or over the fence – and the school would neither allow him to phone me (to get a new lunch) nor would they feed him the lunch being served in the cafeteria (because he wasn’t on the list). And of course, he never told me what happened (he kept saying ‘I lost my lunchbox’) until finally another parent clued me in. The kid starved his entire 3rd grade year until I found out what was happening and confronted the school (“Yes, he usually doesn’t have a lunch. We assumed you weren’t sending one…!”) That same year the kid had 2 pairs of glasses ripped from his face and smashed (the school refused to either pay for replacements glasses or divulge which child had destroyed them).
The closest the school came to admitting there was a bullying problem was when the 3rd grade teacher told me (at yet another conference following a physical conflict) “Your son is NOT the problem. He’s the victim. And you should know we cannot protect him outside the classroom.” Great!!!!
In 4th grade, we hired a high school student to shadow my son on the playground and protect him during lunch. We made arrangements for me to drop his lunch in the office and keep it in the teacher’s lounge and for him to eat in a fenced garden area with the high school student. His older sister began accompanying him to class in the morning and picking him up at the door in the afternoon. And STILL almost every shirt he owned was ripped at the shoulder from him pulling desperately away from an abuser holding on to his sleeve. He came home with a new bruise almost every day (‘I don’t know how I got it…’).
Of course we got him into counseling in 3rd grade. The counselor diagnosed “ADD”. The school diagnosed “emotionally disturbed” in 4th grade, even though their own psychologist’s report said it was clear-cut autism. It took an epic 2-year battle with our school district for him to be placed in a school where he could simply exist safely. He’s been there 5 years now and still is recovering from the previous 5 years of daily emotional abuse and failure-to-protect. (He still flinches when someone touches his shoulder and has major ‘don’t touch my food’ issues left over.)
It is sooooooooo heartening to hear that times are changing ands kids with autism are starting to be understood and served in the public schools. Thanks for letting me share.